So today I am going to blog in blue. It definately matches my mood. So who do you know gets cussed out for making someone Christmas dinner? Well look no further, you found her. When I was kid Christmas was such and wonderful festive time. I loved the holiday season, and I looked forward to it wholeheartedly. Times where more simple, Mom had every under control, she really put a lot into making every tradition that Christmas had to offer, someting special for me, from decorating the family tree, to the formal dinner enjoyed by all for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. She spent days in the kitchen preparing everything by scratch, pies, cakes, jello mold, hor de vors. You name it. She really showed her family how much she loved them with every dish she prepared. Man do I miss her and her holiday spirit.
Fast forward to this year, Mom has been gone for over 10 years now, and try as I might, I can't seem to recreate the same experience for my family. The last 4 years we have been like most Americans, strapped for cash, one year Christmas dinner was Beef Stew and the movies. My husband and I haven't been able to buy each other presents for three years, (I will explain all this latter on) every spare dollar we had we put toward our son's gift. This past year my husband lost his job and his mother needs a serious operation, we moved, fostered out our animals, basically got evicted, had a state tax lien on my paycheck, which couldn't come at a worse time. All of which sent me into a funk and now I am on SDI. So we moved home, and now we stay in between my Eldest sister's house and my Mother in laws place. We went from being sort of loners to having absolutley no privacy. The one bright spot is Kurt, (my husbands son from a previous marriage) We were really fortunate to have him here for the whole holiday! I am so very proud of the young man he is becoming. He is so bright and handsome, not to mention clever and witty. Algebra 2 his freshman year and also he is an acomplished athlete who excells in every sport he plays. He treats animals and people alike with kindness. The world would be a much better place with more young men like him around. I am very blessed to have him for a son. All that being said, because we are staying with family we have no rent to pay, we were able to finaly go out and buy presents for one another. We got our son the mini tab he wanted and some department store perfume for me, which came with gifts you could buy if you spent a qualifing amount. In the meantime My sister decided that my husband and hers would love a new wrist watch and she ordered a pair of them from the home shopping network. What, for the first time in 5 years everyone was getting presents, we were even able to buy for my mother in law. Well not so much, something got boogered with my sisters credit and the watches where denied. So there went my husbands present. So we had to make do with the the nose hair trimmer and a starter hat. Of course my disability is almost a month behind, so it will be well after Christmas, maybe even the New Year before I can make it up to him.
Now that I have you all up to speed, I have planned to cook at my Mother in Laws (MIL) house our Christmas Dinner. I had been brining a turkey for 5 days, and I was looking forward to making my boys and whoever else my MOther in Law wanted to include a homemade feast made of love. Something she could even be proud of. Well not so much, the boys really wanted me to be the one to cook their Christmas dinner as well. You see my MIL (who will remain nameless) fancies herself somewhat of a gourmet cook. The problem is her sanitation while in the kitchen. Let me explain, she belives that all food doens't have to be refrigerated. She will prepare shellfish and leave it out for 4 hours and serve it to you. She herself is a heavy drinker and smoker, and eats like a bird, so there's no chance for her to get sick from her own cooking. She made crabcakes once for our son, she prepared them on a Thursday and served them for dinner about 10 days later. Then when she cooked them, she did so like at 11am in the morning and let them sit out on the counter all day until she reheated them for dinner that evening. So wrong on more so many levels. So I am sure you can imagine that all of us a sketch on her cooking preparation techniques.
So thats's where I come in. My boys love my cooking and have certian things that they wanted me to prepare. This created the problem, I kept asking my MIL to leave everything to me, that I had it all under control. I used to be a banquet chef, and I know a thing or two in the kitchen. No matter how hard a tried to convince her I had it under control, she just would not accept it. We are all on different schedules, she goes to bed drunk quite frankly early every night, and we enjoy the evening without her, sadly. So when I would wake up each morning before Christmas, she would insist on preparing different parts on my dinner. Every suggustion I had was met with a no and a "I don't give a shit" All the while I am still asking her to just relax, I will take care of everything and you may enjoy your guests. Yeah right. When my MIL has a turkey dinner, she prepared the bird a few days ahead and warms it up. She doesn't know what salt and pepper are. She proclaimed that she would stuff the bird the night before and she didn't give a shit.... And why was I insisting on preparing my meal, my way. When I woke up on Christmas eve, She was already mashing potatoes which she left on the covered front porch "because it's cold enough out there" and agian she didn't give a shit what anyone thought about it. She insisted on baking some yams four days ahead of time because she doesn't like the way I was going to candy my yams. Being from Germany, apparently jello is ghetto too. I come out Christmas morning and she has prepared a salad with old lettuse that she chopped into shreds. using all the old stuff in the frig, just completely ignoring my every request, by which time I am sure you can imagine just how fed up I truely was.
Finally, guests where arriving, thank God to get her out of the kitchen! They had hor de vors and finally the turkey and everything else was ready. Her guests are older and were all very happy and appriceative of such and amazing meal and where full of compliments. Everything was great. Of Course so was she in front of her peers. After the meal, she served them 8 day old desert and off the went. MIL had started drinking real early and went to bed herself by 6. I do need to mention that for 3 days leading up to Christmas she had walked around and swore at me and my husband under her breathe but totally audinble nonetheless everytime we didn't agree with her. Lovely right? The boys and I went on to play board games and generaly enjoy each others company. We ended up staying up until the wee hours of the morning. Fast forward to about noon the next day, Hubby was up first (we all sleep in the same room) he showered and took the dog for a walk while me and our boy stayed home and played videos games and chilled in the room. When Dad came home he asked us to get ready because we had planned the day before to take our boy to the mall. Well that folks was a fatal mistake, the fact that me and my boy shared some much needed one on one time and were not hanging out in the common areas sent my MIL into a silent frenzy and she was hoping mad. Her words. How dare us make her feel left out. Everything was going to come out. and it did. Basically I told her that there was no disrespect intended, and that we slept in and we didn't mean to upset her. Apology not accepted, she then proceeded to tell me that if she had known that I wanted to cook the whole dinner, I should have just told her so, to which I replied, that I had at least 15 times and for her to never worry that I would never let it happen again,
that I would never again be foolish enough to think it was ok to do something nice for her and I would never presume to "take over her kitchen again" She thinks I am hateful and that I don't care for her, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I love her very much, and all I really want is for her to love and accept me. I am not perfect and in the past I have let her get to me and I have said things to her that she didn't like. The truth hurts.
There's so much more to my story, to our story, to who I am and how I am, I hope to unload a little on here from time to time. I hope you don't mind, if you do, don't read it, it's all good. There will be more to follow
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